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Hard to believe that it is now Feb 29th, 2024 and I am revisiting this blog. A place to express my own thoughts, perhaps to work through them. I have no goal of reaching anyone with these thoughts, people have long since taken their positions and don't want to know otherwise. My husband Nicholas died on August 10th, 2022. He had been discharged from the hospital on Feb 25 because I would not let him go to the nursing home. I knew that, if he went there, they would not allow me to visit him due to my being unvaccinated. And I just could not bring myself to take that jab. Nor him. So the hospital called and said I would have to take him back home, regardless of whether I was up to the task or not. So Nick came home, and we settled into a routine of rising, eating, napping, taking medications, napping again, eating, fighting his demons in the evenings, and finally going to bed at 10 pm, only to face a night time of broken sleep, taking of meds, night time sweats, more broken sl...

And so it goes

Still no word from the lawyer about my quest to visit my husband in hospital. Meanwhile, he (my husband) is getting worse by the day. Dementia does not hold back once it takes hold. We try to communicate with each other via chrome book and google chat, but Nick has somehow signed himself out of the chrome book and can't get back in, so he can't open his email account. That is how we call each other. Because Parkinsons robs a person of their voice, Nick's voice is very quiet now, sometimes just a whisper, and I often cannot understand what he says. But on the internet, he is much more understandable. My daughter said it is because the microphone is far superior on the computer than on the telephone.> / But now he can't access that method of communication. So here we are, trying to talk by telephone, he is in distress and I am at my wit's end, trying to talk to him and reassure him of my love, that I am here even though he can't see me or touch me. F...

So now what do we do?

My husband is in long term care in the local hospital, awaiting a bed in the nursing home. I can no longer care for him at home, given his mobility issues and now his dementia. He has Parkinsons' disease and is in the 5th stage now, this is the stage with decreased mobility and he requires help with most daily functions. When he was admitted to hospital, the regulations changed overnight. I went from being his wife who was allowed to visit regularly to someone who was barred at the door. Then an accommodation was made for us to visit in a separate room in the ER, all because I am not vaccinated against the Sars Covid-2 virus. Nick isn't vaccinated either. And the hospital is following the rules set by the health official for Renfrew County, which keeps all unvaccinated persons away from patients in the hospital unless they are palliative or end of life. Then last Monday, another regulation came down and I cannot even visit my husband in that separate room in ER. I am not ...
What is going on? for two years, we have been enduring a pandemic and we have gotten used to lockdowns, masks, restrictions on our freedom, you can list a number of things here that have happened in the past two years. Last year, people were accused of being conspiracy theorists, people in tin foil hats, but this year it seems that these conspiracy theories offer some of the best explanations for what is happening. Having listened to hours and hours of documentaries on Covid, I am in the conspiracy camp. Sorry, but I just cannot swallow the lies that are being told hour after hour on every news station, on every television station, in every newspaper, in every op-ed. Everywhere the lie is told that we are in a pandemic, that we have to follow the government guidelines, on and on it goes. And during all that time, what are we seeing? businesses failing, people despairing of ever getting back to normal, people losing jobs, people losing hope. The most disturbing fact is the divisio...